notes from Africa, chapter 6

Africa is difficult. The place is just difficult.
Wholeshot...I am doing well and I am healthy; however, working with the people of Kibera, listening to story after story of mistreatment, abuse, and life-circumstance is without question taking a heavy toll on me. I am now having trouble staying encouraged that thier are good people, and even a harder time believing that there are good people that are not constantly abused. I sit with and listen to mostly women and children. The fathers and husbands are...upcountry doing "something?", drunk always, taking care of themselves only, or just flat out gone. The women are left with a bunch of children, no money, and many times HIV positive.
The Women try and make a living any way they can. I sat with a woman yesterday who wanted to sell me something. I am not sure what exactly she wanted to sell me, as she had nothing with her, but she proceeded to tell me she was sick and show me some random ultrasound pictures with a doctor's note. I read the doctor's note to her, which stated that she was absolutely healthy and gave her a confused look.
It is an odd sensation spending my days in Kibera, where people have absolutely nothing and live in constant filth, and then walking home to a safe bed. I could not really sleep last night. I layed in bed listening to people scream at each other and fight just outside the wall to my building. It sounded like they were standing in the hallway outside my room. I listened to them hit each other and scream. I layed there thinking, "this is normal." And what can I do about it...?
I think/pray constantly these days. Thank God I have Timm to talk, play, and laugh. My mind shoots from water treatment ideas to education reforms to garbage collecting schemes. Sometimes I wish more than anything I was the city planner/coordinator/funds allicator for Kibera, and sometimes I am glad that I am nothing of the sort. Thinking through all the ways I can help these people I am constantly turned back to the Gospel as the only hope. And I do not mean telling someone that Jesus loves them. That is part of it, but the Gospel is so much more. People need the Gospel in its dramatic, revolutionary fullness. It is obvious that they do not need an empty message. Out of all the things I can think of to help these people it is all to no avail unless it is the Gopsel, period.
I guess the bottom-line with my current struggle is what is my place in sharing the Gospel with the people of Kibera. What is my place in it all?, and even more so what is my responsibility? What is my responsibility with what I see and experience here? It is so much easier to know that at home.

I am learning a lot now, and I am growing. I beggining that process of figuring out what my responsibility for showing the Gospel here is and is not. I came on this trip to learn and help, and I am on the midst of it now. I don't know if I could have picked two harder goals.
I preached at church this morning. I feel it is one of the better things I have done thus far. It was wonderful to feel like I connected with the people of the service. I struggled with the Sermon a lot. It is like to really believe what you are saying you cannot just study for the teaching you actually need to fight with it. I have to admit until some unknown time last night it was very hard for me to believe I could say what I said to the congregation. The main idea of the passage, illustrated in Phillipians 4 and supported in countless references, was the idea that "you have everything you need right now." I stood there on the concrete/dirt floor stairing at people that have nothing, and proceeded to tell them that everything they need they already have...At first I thought it wasn't doable but it came, and it came as huge encouragement to the people and to myself. I am grateful to God for teaching me today.

Please continue to pray for Timm's health as he is in and out of stomach problems. Also, please pray for language competency. We are learning and doing well, but I think a lot more doors would open with just a little more comprehension.

Keep rockin' the free world.



kristie Puls: I hope that you recieved my e mail and are able to hop on he blog and check it out in all its blog-glory. I would love to know more about what is going on in your life/how all the travelling is. How is/was living in (good ole') Thornton? For some reason I think that you are moving to Alaska at some point...? Hope all is well.

Step on me and Laurelb: BE ACKNOWLEDGED. If these were the days-of-old with kings and knights and princesses and dragons (or we were in England) I would dub thee with a sword: ACKNOWLEDGED. Thank you for taking the time out of your streneous schedules to blog-it-up. You are welcome on the blog and will, without question, recieve at least a 1 to 1 return on your bloggings.

Step on me and Laurelb: Because I would like to hold to my promise of the 1 to 1 ratio I am now giving you a shout out to catch up, and to thank you for your prayers and kind words as they are both needed and desired.

Dad: I could not agree with you more. The guy needs his C. We are in the process of getting him some emergen-C. Also, thanks for calling last night it was amazing to talk to you/mom/paul. I miss you guys a ton, but am very grateful to have the oppurtunity to be here and experience Africa in this way, at this time. Thanks again for your support. Much love.

J-Rod: SO! good to hear from you. I am glad to hear that you and Jake and Sara are doing well. I have been thinking about you guys a lot lately. It is great that you found the blog in all it's bloggyness. You are welcome here. I would love an e mail from you letting me know what is up lately. There is a lot I do not know. Also, I am still waiting on that picture of Jake in his halloween get-up, you may need to send/post two so as to enlighten me on Jake's new acquired size. I miss you guys and remember you in my prayers. Please give Sara a hug for me, and Jake a 'what-up from uncle phil'.

Scotland: My dear Mr. Smart I am saddened that there will be no adam/phil car skiing this Christmas, but am in a small way grateful. I am grateful b/c the opening up of time in your schedule allowed you to build a TEN FOOT SNOWMAN! Which brings me great, deep seeded joy. Oh, to build a snow man... go inside warm yourself by a crackling fire, and, perhaps, enjoy a small glass of chocolate milk (if ya know what i'm sayin). Thank you for your prayers my friend. Adam, you are a constant encouragement. Much love to you as always.

Aaron Mgraine: I agree, it is not wise to mess with doctor Bob when it comes to the C. He pretty much has a monopoly on the vitiman, the effects there of, and the letter itself.
It is really good to hear from you. It makes me glad to know that you are alongside Timm and I in this journey. Your words are encouraging, thank you. I have missed our time together on Sundays...everyone has. I stay (somewhat) updated on what you and katie are doing through Paul and wish you guys the best of times. Take care.

Deja: I am constantly baffled by your work schedule. I am glad that you love your work. Thank you for the encouraging words, and the update on things in your corner of the world. It is dope that you hooked up your bike with all the proper specs. Ride like the wind!